Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Identifying With Others Culturally

I wanted to move to L.A., like Tim Burton.  I mean, he has dark hair and is up for a worthy cause.  It seems his point is to say dark hair is bad and he has it for a reason and he's just there to advertise Helena Bonham Carter and his daughter.

I guess living in the New Orleans area sorta gave me an interesting experience.  I struggle to know about my fate and some of my decisions.  It was like I wasn't supposed to go to college after being such a good and rather active student.  I've always been considered well-behaved and hard-working, though my schools weren't incredibly hard nor like convenient.  Like, we had busywork and boring work, I'd say.  Well, it wasn't as bad as you'd imagine, but in a way it was that caliber.  The 2 states I am from have the worst schools in the nation, so it's interesting culturally|socially, just not in the area I'm from exactly.  I don't really know "what" people are busy doing in school.

Well, I don't know who I'm interested in.  A lot of stars have fallen to the graces of Johnny Depp.  I'm sure there are a lot of cute guys out in the world.

Do you think Ellen DeGeneres is just trying to be popular?  I don't know what the big fuss is.  Ever since I did badly in college because I thought it was an experiment, my life, I've been beat a lot.  Then, the n word thing happened, and my options in the world somehow closed.  It happened overnight.  Well, she has blonde hair.  She isn't really shy.  I don't know why people get mixed emotions about me.  Would you say she's bold around people her age?  I don't know why I've been taken out of "the" picture.  I was treated differently at different times and especially after going to the mental hospital at 16.  So, people are just inappropriately shoving me into other people's faces, making fun of me, like I'm an animal and not a human being, anymore.  I think it's because of that thing when I was 11, the not writing my cousin, the thinking perverted thoughts, not feeling as good when my brother was born, and maybe feeling racism as a young child, but like in secret and never openly discussed except when the time came and it was something that claimed they were in their place with me.  So, I can't hide.  The reason I keep up with this stuff is because it's good to.  People are trying to play with me and tell me different things to do.  I mean, Tim Burton isn't that famous, and Ellen DeGeneres isn't that discussed.  You could be the 1st big famous person of the times.  I know I was just denied, but I'm not sure how I'd go nor if I'd ruin things, at all, hopefully not too much, if I became a model or something or got in some movies, maybe even some more major roles, like you know at least speaking roles that come back, though it'd be nice to be well-respected as a participant in the business if you're going to be in it and want to perform in things like what they have in movies and for world access.  It would be nice to file it online.  Being featured to the world in a movie would be a fun thing to have happen, as well...  So, a long time ago, I guess I would have discovered more under the radar artists|entertainers and could have posted about it online since I was a teen.  I mean, I've seen a lot of movies, but not much is happening, anymore, since Johnny Depp.  I mean, people think "that's it."