Problem

I went to bed resolved not to say certain words, but 2 bad words, well 3, came to my mind.  I was resolved one was a joke, but only I can't joke around and that makes me really mad and I won't accept it.  I don't like to curse, neither.  I was really so mad, I couldn't stand it.  I mean, he just has to say something, huh?  It bothered me, though, and it's from watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and before following Tim Burton, etc.

STOP

I got some messages from my dad I didn't like.

I feel I've lost my connection with him.  I was joking around before about something, but I guess people weren't good enough for it.  I'm not sure why all this is happening.  I explained this is unnecessary.

Dream

I saw a person who put Halloween song out before Halloween.  How, she had something else set up, like for Christmas.  I talked to her with someone I was with.  She had dark, smooth hair and light skin, was a little plump, a little tall.  I was at home, and my mom left.  I was in a bathroom of theirs and there were 2 computers, I think playing classical music that was more exciting with singing.  I was trying to get it to stop.  I did eventually.  I was making out something for someone.  That girl.  A frog bookmark with googly eyes.

In Bed

I guess I'll fight the feeling of my dad.

YOU DIDN'T FIX IT

Look, people, I didn't say nigger or anything in that post.  Oops, you help people who are mean.

2TheEllenShow

So, nice show.  You seem to be doing well.  I'm having a hard time delving into your|the fans..

So, I had a bad day, but I just noticed you were lonely and thought I'd post a reaction to your show, in general.  Hm, why did I have a bad day?  Well, I went to the mental hospital, and suddenly everyone knew I called someone the n word (the word nigger..)  However, I did bad after that happened, as well.  I kept feeling disturbed for failing in college but not on purpose, at least not pointedly.  I thought my life was an experiment and people stopped treating me the same and I felt different.  I was told to expect a great experience.  So, the world was fake.  At least my experience.  More to say, but I'm too tired.  I mean, it was like I couldn't have been happy.

Well, with that, I'll go, go to bed, I will..  :?

I picked a YouTube-

I starred a new video of me singing..  :)

YouTube

Problem

I know that there are violent people from other areas acting like they are from L.A. and Florida.

Problem

Now, I have another problem.  I have lots of problems of people thinking they're smart but mean to me.  Then, things happen in private, the noises I hear and the security words.

Why are we making more problems, for me?  I didn't say hey come talk to me.  Why are people so mean to me?  Why didn't anything work out?

All I know is that I get treated badly for being nice.

Problem

What do you think of how all the good people are closing up to the public because of the n word thing, which was caused by other things?  Just forget it and move onto other people, which is like no one?  Well, what do you think, though, surely it matters?  They come up with something else when something happens.  I'm not gonna take pretend logic.  I really disagree.  See, there's always something.  What was really different, this time?  I left up the dangerous part because I need help.  I keep being treated like I'm someone else.

Problem

Why can't I just be comfortable?  I know I shouldn't be solving problems, now, but I was told to.

Problem

Every time I post something, something else happens.

Going to Bed Soon 3)

Turning Over a New Leaf

I guess I'll just try not to say **** and nigger so freely.  8I

I can't stand the stress I've been put under, the medicine I took, the stay in the mental hospital..

I just don't think it's bad when you're playing online like this in private waiting for people to assist you, why I left it up.  I'm really tired to figure out how to take down stuff when I'm already so winded and incapable of working in the world, even, though I'm quite able-bodied.

I'm wondering why I wasn't accepted as an actor, nor model.  I can try again in a few months and at this one place.  I just have a feeling I'm not ready.  I hope I will continue to improve since I don't even work.  I post online, on Blogger and IMDb.  Other sites.

Well, I decided to change because I found I was programmed to like react violently to suggestions.

I wasn't really going crazy like a baby.  I just keep hearing these noises in my room..

I probably should wait to audition again.  I had some problems with my weight.  Maybe I should fix that.  Like sometimes I skip jogging and get fatter.  Maybe I wasn't healthy.

Well, now, I'm feeling vibrations on my keyboard.

So, I keep having to pay for when I mess up.  So, why don't people help me function better?  I'm not meant to mess up so much.  Hm, what made me mad?  I just got upset at being picked at.  I guess I just should have lay down.  My mom came in to do laundry and I got up to turn on music.  I don't have an MP3 Player.

Ow, the noise just disturbed me, was an insulting message..

So, I hope this never happens again to anyone else.  The message is to live life simply and love and no harm will come.  However, I feel people are doing the opposite, punishing you for things you did wrong.

I know people are telling me to feel that people are really stimulating when they come to conclusions.  I think that bothered me.  I think I was worried at a message that could turn into something, THEN I posted the bad stuff.  You know, earlier I posted Johnny Depp came to me in a vision ideologically that he was spinning my future daughter in pain out of control four hours upon waking.  I have the feeling he still is.  What do you have to say about what this is?  I also got a concrete message.

...

So, lots you can go into.  Maybe, I'll just put this out there, now...

Fixed

Another "complication" I just had to fix my TV.  It's an old TV from my dad|family.

STOP

Look, people've been mean to me since I was withdrawn from college.

STOP

Why are you playing with my thoughts?

STOP

Wow, people won't stop talking back to me.  I'm tired of people thinking hurting me is cool.

STOP

NOW, I CAN'T SEE POSTS TO ELLEN ON TWITTER!  There aren't many at the moment, and mine aren't showing up.  Does this happen all the time?

STOP

Now, #ClassicJokeTuesday hashtags aren't showing up.