Sunday, November 25, 2012

Problem

My dad and other people are doing things with him to send messages to me that are elaborate against other people who even suck up to them.

Problem

Leave me alone!

Problem

Stop playing around with me and broadcasting my life.  I'm not sure why this happened.  Guess it's not safe to post anywhere.

Problem

I just got the idea that things are supposedly all being set up intelligently around me to stimulate others.

Just Ate a Snack

Leftover Sushi and Gummi Bears

Problem

Please leave me alone for how I say things.  Also, you've already ruined my life.

Problem

Why is life so lame since my interest in Ellen DeGeneres and moreover my dad with the n word thing.  Someone needs to put an end to him.

Problem

They're really in the process of fixing this.

Problem

Can you leave me alone?  I got the message that dirty Americans wish to eat away at people who want pure, full heritage from Europe.

Problem

Why is everything I do a bad message from someone I care about or who is nice, a good person, I don't interact with in person?

I'm ba-ack.

my account @ The Ellen DeGeneres Show website: link

Problem

I got another message.  A threat.  I also got a message that associated something special to me, again.

Problem

I think people are hiding out waiting to hurt or at least act like to me they're hurting people I know or the way I see them.

Problem

I'm getting perverted, messed up messages from Ellen DeGeneres, like that she wants to hurt people I know, like my dad, because of my suffering of messages I get that people pretend are from her.  I bet it's someone trying to get attention.  I can talk about it.  Anyone agree she's just wasting time or whoever did that?  I don't have time to fix what I write all the time, agree?  It's about what you mean, but it's also about other things.  Why do we have to say this when we're busy?  Oh, and don't overreact to some things I say, just for the fun of it.  You can't hurt me.  You shouldn't.  I wonder what I can do to stop you and to stop you from bothering me when I feel good.

Edit

I changed the link from 3I to 3*.  :|

Cereal 3*

Problem

Every time I get mad at being set up, I get a weird message that's like Ellen DeGeneres.  It happens.

I just got another weird message about something in private about my breasts.

Problem

My dad won't leave me alone.  He's leaving the pizza out for me to eat later.  Like I said before, I didn't order it.  I just had some, yesterday.  My parents were at a wedding.  My dad was filming it!

Problem

What's going on with the idea that if something bad happens after someone good comes into the picture that it's bad?  I mean the good person should be hurt.  I get in forced situations, and I get mad when I'm attacked when I'm alone and have weird mechanisms in my head, like I can't think how I used to nor any better, for some reason.  Sure, it would reach the knowledge of others.

Problem

You know, you can't just keep hurting me, like it's a part of fate.  I know you're inept.

Website Update - Advice

Sunday, 11-25-2012 - Nail polish apparently wears away when it gets old.

STOP

My dad won't stop coming in my room giving me messages.  I'm changing my account at "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."

He came in to tell me he got the cockroach.  I'm getting the idea of people intruding my life, like beasts.

Hey, stop, why is this topic on Ellen DeGeneres?  What's going on?

Something That Happens

So, if someone is mean who is famous, someone else will take charge.

Problem

I got another "message" about being poor and rich.

These messages are not stopping.  I say something, and I get talked back to, if not now, later, I guess.  Why doesn't anyone care?

Hey, stop defending my dad.  He's mean to me.  Hey, stop.  I'm getting more signs.  I got the sign of something popping.  My dad popped some things earlier.  Hey, once I thought of "Poppins," when he was mean to me.

Someone get this to stop.  Answer.  Stop acting like I don't matter.

Stop wasting my time and having me go through these things to send only me messages.

Problem

I got the idea that my brother should ***.

Problem

I'm getting weird messages in my room that others can't tap into because I like to post all the ways I'm bothered online.

Problem

So, how you a gonna solve the problem about my dad being hurt all the time?  Just sorta sit here and attack me like my dad will attack you?  THIS NEEDS TO STOP.

Oh, as I was walking out of my room, this time, my dad opened the door and came in and said he got pizza.  I think he got upset at my brother for the idea I might get more vitamins, instead of the ones I had from before that sometimes he takes.  I'm taking them now, waiting until I get my money next month...

I just had pizza.  I got the bad feeling that waiter was in me when I had it yesterday.  I wa pumping out said feeling.

Also, I was reading Ellen DeGeneres's e-mail she sends out.  :|

Well, I dunno.  I don't want pizza, again.  Hm, also, he filmed a wedding yesterday or took pictures for it.

So, this isn't on my website, but my dad gave me pizza before and I didn't look as sorta stretched out, Hot Pockets.

Who You Hang out With

So, if you're mean to me, I can hang out with someone else and hope the world doesn't let you say bad things about me.  I realized that it'd make you feel guilty to think bad thoughts about me.  We're definitely open to social mingling.

Stop

Stop bothering me.  I don't need things to happen to make sure they're okay that they won't happen any worse.  I know that's the tacky "fantasy" that's going around for how I will ultimately and supposedly in a way others will be attacked.

It seems when I post something, something else happens to me in private and I blog about it, often, lately, more than I should, which maybe I shouldn't have to, at all.

Attacked Some

I've been attacked a bit nonstop since waking up and insulted.

They could make noises come up in my ear over even loud music, which I don't want to turn on.

I think they're chasing the wrong person.

Stop

Stop acting like I need to listen to my dad.  I'm already too old to all of a sudden need to listen to my dad.  What about my mom?  What's your problem?

And it's all weird little things.

Stop acting suggestive like I'm guilty.  If you want to materialize that thought to the world, post it in your blog.

Stop being so critical of my thoughts if you make bad ideas hit me and are watching me all the time in private and telling people what I do and think.

I can post about my experiences on my blog, if I'm civil.  I'm not sure what your problem is...  That I posted an alluding to it?  I think you're just pretending.  If it doesn't matter, then I'll do it because it'll help me.

... Okay, bye, this is no fun.

Every time something happens, you don't have anything else to do.  I'm forgetting it.

Stop

I'm getting weird noises in my room getting mad about me getting mad.  I explained what happened, and sometimes these thoughts just materialize because of the nature of my world.  Blame my world.  And don't hurt people in the wrong way and do certain things to the wrong people.

I'm getting more messages, too, and I can't write them all down.  As I write them down, I guess I get more.  If you do this, shouldn't you stop?  Maybe, you should have stopped, anyway.  I don't have to feel bad for you, like this.

Problem

I still don't feel good about pressure behind my body, feel kinda cut out.

Dream

I was at church in choir.  The choir director was at the organ.  I had the feeling she'd put her arm around my back as we talked.  My friend was there with another friend, both older in the same class but not where I lived then.  They were arguing like I was before but more acutely, and I told her after she went over to reprimand them and sat down and said some things.  I talked to a teacher in the choir, and she was stern about me.  We sang, and I had trouble sounding loud.  In the end, finally I could sound somewhat celestial.  There were a bunch of lowly tribal people from Africa at the front of the church, which was more bright and partly white.  We noticed the ceiling above them, which was like big round stones was gone.  They came by us, though we were in a loft before.  I noticed one tall, thin man who looked more Jewish or Middle Eastern.  He was talking about having a Jewish dad, like it was an official definition of being Jewish, in an enlightening way.  He said, if your dad's dad and mom both had Jewish then you're "the one" and followed forward thinking about it.

Oh, before that, we were drawing people for like a job.  I sketched a girl well in 15 seconds, the 2nd one.  I went to see her at breakfast, and she and her friend were there.  She gave me the picture back, like I was dirty.  She was White but was dark with a kinda African smooth but shapely face, like a White person.  So, I left them and forget what else happened.  It was kind of a more dilapidated, dirty situation.

Nite

Maybe will just fall asleep.

Problem

I guess I got upset and didn't know what to say.  Turned off because I am.

Problem

So, I deal with my frustrations.  I can see things coming and I turn ideas over.

Upset things are happening, but when I'm not at peace I get upset.

Problem

I was leaving my bathroom and heard a bunch of noises.  Because I had a light on, the deodoring thing.

STOP

NOW WHAT NOTHING MATTERS - I DON'T WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH YOU I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO

LOOK YOU ALREADY MADE A BIG DEAL OUT IF IT LIKE IT WAS GOOD - GO TELL THE WORLD YOURSELF BUT NO DON'T SPREAD IT AND QUIT PICKING ON ME TRYING TO BLOG

I'M TIRED OF YOUR PERVERTED GAMES

STOP

Stop kidding like I'm perverted.  I just felt disconnected because of your messages about my grandma.  I don't feel as physical.  I was filled with something I didn't want to be filled with, and now I'm not as immense.  Stop.  You're torturing me and laughing.

STOP LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT MY GRANDMA IN A BAD WAY I'M MY OWN PERSON AND HAVE BEEN YOU MEAN PEOPLE I DON'T LIKE MY FAMILY NOR EVERYONE IN CERTAIN WAYS AND STOP ACTING LIKE I'M WEIRD WHEN I PAUSE WHEN TYPE

STOP

Stop bothering me about Ellen DeGeneres.

STOP

STOP WITH THE RACIST MESSAGES THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE THAT AREN'T RIGHT THAT REALLY ARE EASILY KNOWN TO BE UNTRUE FROM TIM BURTON THAT I JUST GOT THIS RARE TIME OUT OF WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW THAT CAPS DON'T MEAN ANYTHING?

STOP

STOP WITH THE WEIRD MESSAGES FROM ELLEN DEGENERES.  I BET SHE THINKS I'M WEIRD.

STOP

Stop with the weird faint noises of people torturing each other when you make me mad|upset.

Stop!  I just got another suggestion!  I said stop!  Answer!  I SAID STOP.

STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!

Hey, I said stop.  You're using my energy.  I said STOP.  GO AWAY.

Problem

Leave me alone since the n word thing.  You're using my energy.  I just got a bad suggestion, that I was bad to my grandma.  That I can't get away from her.

Also, my dad is predicting all these things I will say and it's sick.  He's spying on me in my room.  Get him to stop.  What's going on!  Who'd agree to look at me in my room?

Problem

Please don't hurt anyone.

I'm tired of blogging for now.

Bad Sense of Humor

What do you really think of Ellen DeGeneres's sense of humor?  ':{

I mean naughty sense of humor, like it matters now.

Acutely Angered

My left hand kinda went out in a way, too, so I became acutely mad.  ':|

Finished Eating Leftovers

Hunk of Beef & Rather Plain Pasta Nested Under It
Soup (Tomato Based)
Carrots (No More Ranch Left)

Sushi!

Stop

Stop feeding me fake stuff I can't enjoy later.  I'm not of your generation.

Stop!

Now, I felt my right finger break up into little pieces.  Someone get Ellen DeGeneres.  It's her fault!

GET OUT

Get out of my life, quit making fun of me like you have any say in me.

And quit bothering me more for not describing things like a freak.  I'm from America.

Problem

I grew up very unguided and very innocent, and all of a sudden since college and moreover the n word thing my dad has been acting like I "need" discipline from others.  Don't do it.  Let him play with himself.  What's your problem?  I don't like you.  Not if you're like that.  8^|

Good Night 3)

STOP

Ellen DeGeneres may be meaner than me, but she isn't meaner than most people.  Nice people are presentable or upfront.  They all tend to blend in in the crowd, but I wouldn't dwell on it...

STOP

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM.  I DON'T HAVE TO ALWAYS KEEP UP WITH ELLEN DEGENERES AND KEEP TABS ON HER ... IN SOME WAY I'M TALKING ABOUT.  NO I'M NOT GAY IN THE WAY THAT MEANS YOU'RE BAD.  IN FACT, I AM KEEPING UP WITH HER, SINCE 2012.  ':{

What bloody way will I fall into sleep this day?

STOP

I don't need to sit here and think about if I was guilty like I'm playing with some sort of baby toys...

Stop acting like you can control what I do.  Quit bearing down on me.  WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

STOP

POST THIS ON YOUR BLOG

MY NOSE WAS JUST TURNED OVER

STOP, THEY THINK THEY ARE DESTINED TO IMAGINE TORTURING PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT AND WHO CARE ABOUT ME ... WELL, I DON'T WANT IT TO MESS ME UP AND NO I DON'T WANT IT TO HAPPEN AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SAY THAT

R U EVEN AWARE

HOW BAD ALL THE BALLET TEACHERS ARE

The Benefits of Ballet and Dance Exposure

Ballet fixed my scoliosis.  I looked good after I did softball, too.  I didn't get to do as much dance as I wanted.  I quit to get taller and to get into film.  It took years, and, then, I watched "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."

DANCE IS BAD

So, a lot of girls actually quit dancing in high school.

I suggest that parents take their kids out of ballet, right away.  Dance is all bad.  We need to eat.

Edit

I added a link to the last post.

Edit

I tagged my last post.

What I Should Have Done

Year 1
1 English II G
2 Geometry G
3 Biology I H
4 Freshman Orientation | Civics
5 JROTC I
6 Talented Theater
7 Talented Music - Singing

Year 2
1 English III APG
2 Algebra II APG
3 Biology II
4 World History
5 JROTC II
6 Talented Theater
7 Talented Music - Singing

Year 3
1 English IV APG
2 American History H
3 Free Enterprise | Health
4 Talented Theater
5 Talented Music - Singing
6
7

College - Loyola University New Orleans - Communications + Required Minor in Film

When I took American History, it was really scary I was told to leave, we all were, unless we were here to train for the AP test, specifically, like not as Gifted students, like it was gonna be extra work.  Also, I never took non-AP English in high school that was just Gifted.  I took Honors my 1st year.

Also, when I went to Loyola, I didn't chose to notice the Film minor I now see there.  It says it was there in 2003-2005.  I went 2004.

So, I'd take ...

Hey, they have neat advanced courses.  link

So, I'm trying to figure out how I could graduate in 3 years.  It'd be 6 courses a semester and 3 courses over the summer, I think.  I don't think it'd work out.

Haunted With Bad Thoughts

Bad ideas have been haunting me, but some ideas were planted in my head.  Well, at least it seems like some of these sounds are real and subtle.

I'm trying to think of people I talk to who are afraid to be nice to me.

Problem

I'm tired of just not thinking because of Tim Burton.  People like him because he's technically all white.

STOP

Why do you think you can control me by bothering me with noises in my room and controlling how things load on my screen?

Why don't I "deserve" a blog?

STOP

I'm tired of suffering because of the weaknesses privately of Ellen DeGeneres.  Stop.  Why don't you come out and admit it like you probably used to?  I don't want your weaknesses.  Why don't you give it to someone else.

Look, stop fantasizing.  Explain yourself!  Somebody stop this foolishness that has commenced because of the release of Johnny Depp.

STOP

STOP YOU PERVERTED PEOPLE INTRUDING MY PRIVACY AND MAKING DISGUSTING FANTASIES ABOUT PEOPLE.

THEY'RE MAKING WILD FANTASIES IN PLEASURE LIKE PERVERTED PEOPLE.  ABOUT PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT.  AND NOTHING IS GONNA HAPPEN TO THEM.

THEY'RE SUGGESTING I DON'T MATTER AND THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHERS FEEL.  THEY'RE HURTING PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT ME.

STOP, STOP BEING RACIST.  STOP SAYING I DID SOMETHING WRONG.  I'M HAVING TROUBLE COMMUNICATING, AND THIS IS IMPORTANT.

You obviously think your such a know-it-all about what you've said...  Coming up on me like I don't matter.  STOP!  I don't believe this is necessary.

You all submit to this nasty perversion and claim you don't when I finally do see your face!

STOP

Now, they just associated the bad thing with people.

I'm changing my tags.

Stop

Stop acting like I'm the perverted one.

Talking Back Badly

Do you always have something bad to say...

Bad Messages Transmitted

I shouldn't have to go through things people might suggest.  That just disproves their worth.  :p  Watch, I'm gonna get tailed for saying someone is hurting me and because I'm not technically all White American or whatever.

Rubbing Things In

Why does Tim Burton want to rub in everything my dad suggests?

Also, they get to be presentable around each other.  Ever since I went to the mental hospital, things have been bad.  I don't know who caused it nor why I went, I guess because of that weird American History class.  You know, my life was really good, a bit harsh but not really.  Not sure what got into me.

I had to post my race online, also because it was polite.  I mean, I had an unfair opportunity, and it should be my mom's responsibility.  I feel that people think I'm silly because they know I've taken psychiatric pills and I'm not technically all White American or whatever.  I don't want to be totally set up in some elaborate fashion and be hard to function.

STOP BOTHERING ME.  WITH YOUR COMPLEX MESSED UP IDEAS.  YOU JUST SPRAYED IT ON MY PRECIOUS STUFF.  IDEOLOGICALLY.  LOOK, QUIT.  STOP ACTING LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG.  I JUST SAID QUIT.

Tim Burton is racist and mean just because of the n word thing.  He's trying to say my dad is bad, but he has no reason.

Admitting "Weird Things"

I'm tired of living antsy on the brink of you "admitting" weird things.

I don't need you to act like I think I'm guilty when I know I'm not just to test me.

Stimulating for Perversion Undue

So, I see my dad is trying to stimulate me for what I did that I wasn't able to calculate.  He wants to blame my mom, who is not Caucasian|White, when she blames that it's because I'm related to my dad.  My dad is okay with that and treats me differently, like I'm not like either of them nor anyone else nor that I am accepting, in a way, because it's a virtue...

People Around Orlando

When I was at the mall, I was talking, and some boys, probably Spanish, who seemed small and tall, sounded like they gave all in and said something that sounded like a bad word because I was enjoying conversation with my dad, who doesn't want me to plan things out neatly.  Other people aren't helping my situation at home.  Some people say things, and no one helps.  I am left with what's right and wrong and knowing my needs are unmet.  Later, I realize I "don't have" to do some things.

So, then I ate out with my dad, and he made me feel like I had to have the waitress stimulate me in my stomach and probably womb.  Well, I had it coming and have forgotten about it.  I was feeling it, and it did make me feel weird in a little way.  It made my stomach pump for the first time like that, at least since I could ever remember since I lost it in 2005, thinking my life became a recorded experiment and that supposedly I had been suffering undue things, which I believe still and feel I have not received my reward.  Another time, though, I felt my head pump in a good way, though I fear it will spin.  It's just that my eye spun before for months, so maybe I'm done spinning or something, at least for now, here.  :|  I mean, it's hard to spin.  I've been struggling.

Weird Stimulation That's Bad, Most Decidedly

Why does my dad and others keep barking at things like they are suggestions of what others will do now, trying to stimulate others 24-7, like it has to happen?

What will we do now that the activities have commenced?  Like stimulating in a weird, seemingly "bad" way really people.  Why do people do that?  Is it an L.A. thing?  This wasn't the program, before.  It's happened since the n word thing.  Before, it just seemed to "happen," wasn't like something that was bound to occur.  Not like some thing you're waiting for that could happen for some reason.  I might be different, but that's just who I am.  We are not all the same, and we shouldn't ruin ourselves trying to all be the same, like everyone else.  People are just different.  I guess I can't really look up to anyone because they're busy being stimulated in weird ways in ways I don't like by certain people.  I don't even understand the relationship certain people claim to have had with certain people of different generations.

As to the title, we aren't sure who to blame all for the deeds that were done in the stimulating factor.  :p

Shower

Clean, ready for bed.  :|  Have some dry grain, plain, tasteless flat cracker stuff if I get hungry and some yummy tummy gummy bears.

Might go lie down, soon.  ;0

Imperfection

Why am I not considered very perfect, now?  Is it because I had problems with energy when I moved to the New Orleans area?  I wasn't tall anymore and got more blubbery.

I just feel that things are a bit inconvenient, socially.  I don't really know what I'm going through.  I mean, I understand some of the reasoning, yes.  I wouldn't want to do that to my kids nor would I think it proper to do to anyone else.  I assume most people have a vanguard against these things, or some such...

Website Update - Notes to Know

I also changed the font on this page to Medium.

Sunday, 2012-11-25 - A reply option I had on an old blog I remember was "nurturing" or "scrumdiddlyumptious."  I think it was the one marked 2012-11-25-1.

Bath

I feel like I need a shower.

Website Update

I added my 2nd Tumblr account to my YouTube page.

New Tag

Education

Website Update - Advice

Just pick the nail polish off your skin.  When you paint your nails with expensive nail polish, it comes off your skin, mostly, at least with some.  Apply more than 1 coat; I've always used 1 or 2.  I've never tried 3 that I remember on nail polish that was opaque enough.  If you use less expensive nail polish, I think you just pick at the nail polish that gets on your skin and that it comes off your skin on its own after a day.

Ruined

Since my female thing is ruined... what do you think now that we're pretty sure it was given to me as individual medicine secretly?  I shouldn't have taken the medicine.  Also, my life was really bad before I went to the mental hospital, I can see from the old YouTube videos.

New Tag

Personality

Edited Tag Links

Help!

I am being threatened and so are other people!

HEY, THERE'S A WARBLING RINGING IN MY EAR!  I have my ear plugs in and my noisemaker on.

LEAVE ME ALONE!  YOU ALL THINK YOU DESERVE STUFF IN LIFE AND NOT ME?

LEAVE ME ALONE.  I WANT MY LIFE.

People are being dishonest on their opinion of me, and then I am told the clicks in my room are associated with them under all control of my dad, which I don't like.

Getting Attention

So, is it that I shouldn't feel some things or some things using certain people?

Why would I just let be when it's an issue, like I don't want to be mushy and say whatever it is, I'd like attention.

Website Edit

I added my last blog at the end of the section of the list of blogs.  I also formatted the spacing that I found to be off, rather strangely...

link

People Update

I added a new person to the People tab: The Last Verista.

In case you already looked, I just edited it a few times.  =D

Edit

I edited the 2nd link on my links post.

Edit

I rearranged the tags.  I messed up

MySpace Update

My height is now 5'3". 3)

Worried|Concerned

My dad will promise not to hurt me but let me get hurt.

New Videos of Me Humming and Playing the Harp...

Christmas Carols and a Starbucks Ad on MySpace

link

Nice Links

link - Christmas trees

link - interesting blog

Website Update - Advice

Sunday, 11-25-2012 - I like to wait longer to exercise again so I can get in the maximum rest and work it off the best, later.


Sunday, 11-25-2012 - I go to the bathroom a lot, including when I am out, like every hour.

Blogging While I Was Out

I got the vision of someone fumbling sealing up my future daughter like with a flat, thick, light suction.

I also got the message that I'm all out, like I decided to be a movie star, like my posts online literally are all over and make no sense.

Also, I'm worried I'll be bombarded with more.

PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!  YOU'RE THE ONES WITH THE PROBLEM!  YOU'VE BEEIN SINNING AGAINST ME!

Look, just because I had problems does not mean I was a bad person.  I grew up indoors, not living in harm's way.

Please, leave people I know alone.  I don't care about your problems.  I don't believe you know how to handle things that you pay attention to and find out about.

Oh, look, other people live in the comfort of their homes not bombarded by this kind of stuff.  I am accomplished, and you took away what I earned.

STOP.  STOP PUSHING PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.  STOP.  SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING.  QUIT MAKING FUN OF ME.

What's wrong with Ellen DeGeneres?  So, now, it's supposedly not her fault.  Why does Britney Spears, Johnny Depp, and Tim Burton get away with all that they do with their heritage?

It looks like people won't leave me alone for my problems, racially and money-wise.

Welcome to my Blogger!