Thursday, November 29, 2012
Mad at the World
Okay, now, I'm really mad at the world.
I said something on my blog, and my aunt was really nice to me. So was my brother, since I watched Ellen DeGeneres her 9th season.
So, anyway, my aunt was really nice, and it was really neat. However, we lost the streak and she can't get back. I think she doesn't want to see my face. I was just talking, maybe I sent it to her. So, now, I feel haunted by her.
I've also had periods where I can jog or walk a lot but now don't feel like it. I went a week on hamburgers that weren't very good. I was supposed to go shopping or ask for food but didn't know. I just don't feel comfortable going to the grocery.
What do you think of people who really don't make sense? I hate people mixed with like dark and light.
I'm not sure if I'm even on a topic.
I got the feeling Ellen DeGeneres is partial to the younger members of a family, like it's a dream. However, it's the parents's job. I was let off without much a reputation but reveled in helping my brother at school in Pre-K. I wanted to be a teacher of whatever grade he was in but probably had other desires.
I'm guessing Ellen thinks that copying what someone else does makes her fit in, but it seems she's forced to live in her environment. I guess I'm wondering if she's cutting herself off from the world or trying to like control it.
It seems anyone who is nice to me who is really attractive gets in trouble.
I said something on my blog, and my aunt was really nice to me. So was my brother, since I watched Ellen DeGeneres her 9th season.
So, anyway, my aunt was really nice, and it was really neat. However, we lost the streak and she can't get back. I think she doesn't want to see my face. I was just talking, maybe I sent it to her. So, now, I feel haunted by her.
I've also had periods where I can jog or walk a lot but now don't feel like it. I went a week on hamburgers that weren't very good. I was supposed to go shopping or ask for food but didn't know. I just don't feel comfortable going to the grocery.
What do you think of people who really don't make sense? I hate people mixed with like dark and light.
I'm not sure if I'm even on a topic.
I got the feeling Ellen DeGeneres is partial to the younger members of a family, like it's a dream. However, it's the parents's job. I was let off without much a reputation but reveled in helping my brother at school in Pre-K. I wanted to be a teacher of whatever grade he was in but probably had other desires.
I'm guessing Ellen thinks that copying what someone else does makes her fit in, but it seems she's forced to live in her environment. I guess I'm wondering if she's cutting herself off from the world or trying to like control it.
It seems anyone who is nice to me who is really attractive gets in trouble.
R E S P E C T
I wish people would be civil to me. If they have a problem, they should not go behind my back and then be mean to me and shock me, as though I have reason to be attacked and feel guilty and different from everyone else. They have a problem with a mistake I supposedly made not with something I can change like a habit. They are totally like killing me, just because I'm mixed race.
People From Where I'm From
When I lived in the nation's oldest continuing city in Northeastern Florida near a major city, most people seemed to live on the island. We lived close to downtown, well in downtown, in a small, old house.
2TheEllenShow
Not too too long after coming home from college, well maybe a year and a 1|2, a guy from Texas called me from MySpace, I think. Already, he was preaching hatred at me. I wasn't even at IMDb, yet, nor probably any other forum, other than on MySpace and Facebook. So, I didn't get on until ... Hm. 200 ... 7. :) I probably shouldn't have given out my location nor posted pictures of me in weird settings. I really wanted to get a portrait for my profile picture. Anyway, I talked to this guy a long time. Some other guy, I think a guy from New Zealand, a Kiwi, called me, who moved to Florida. I think Western Florida but not Southwestern Florida. He was a year younger and kept calling me, was a little fat. IMed me sometimes. No one really IMs me. I put my IM on the police forum. When I was at Eurasian Nation, they kicked me out and tried to talk to me about it on IM. I was kicked out of so many places. I didn't really do anything. They just said like stuff like I was weird or I got mad at people who were pointedly insulting me, old members, which happened on the old Eurasian Nation, I know.
Manners
I don't know. I found that people said I was just being selfish. I had reasons for doing each thing I did. I guess I felt sparked up. I should have stopped. I dunno, maybe I was worried about what would happen if I didn't say anything. I shouldn't take out my anger. I still feel bad.
R E S P E C T
So, other people deserve so much respect, and I get treated like people who are mean all the time.
Showered
I just took a shower but still don't feel perfectly sanitary.
I painted my nails and then had to poo and managed to do it.
I painted my nails and then had to poo and managed to do it.
Just Had a Relatively Big Breakfast
2 Glasses of OJ
GRITS - Plain - 2 1|2 Cups of Water and Grits
Maple Bacon not very heated stuck together
2 Slices of French Toast & Syrup
2 Fried Eggs with Probably Somewhat Runny Yellows
What else? Some of an apple
GRITS - Plain - 2 1|2 Cups of Water and Grits
Maple Bacon not very heated stuck together
2 Slices of French Toast & Syrup
2 Fried Eggs with Probably Somewhat Runny Yellows
What else? Some of an apple
2TheEllenShow
You know it's funny I don't remember how things were in the New Orleans area, though I assume they are the same. This kinda woke me up when they said, "Hey, sexy lady!" It reminded me of all the crazy things they do at martial arts or that martial arts schools must do, in general.
That was pretty funny, kept waking me up. Not sure what's going on.
Whenever I move, I'm totally knocked out. I did more back to Florida and have visited Saint Augustine, the oldest continuing city in the U.S. However, when I go to Fort Lauderdale, where my aunts used to both live and one still lives there, it's not the same. It's like I had a period of my life where I wasn't as European, since going up to see my grandma, though that's the one baby picture I have up. I was dressed in attractive colors.
I just don't understand why I was always instilled with a sense of not deserving respect|what I want. My brother also had Chinese-influenced features that seemed like sorta rubbed in.
It's funny I looked more Asian than anything but not in a squinty way, just like a plastered look when I was younger but oily or something. Not too much like some people.
That was pretty funny, kept waking me up. Not sure what's going on.
Whenever I move, I'm totally knocked out. I did more back to Florida and have visited Saint Augustine, the oldest continuing city in the U.S. However, when I go to Fort Lauderdale, where my aunts used to both live and one still lives there, it's not the same. It's like I had a period of my life where I wasn't as European, since going up to see my grandma, though that's the one baby picture I have up. I was dressed in attractive colors.
I just don't understand why I was always instilled with a sense of not deserving respect|what I want. My brother also had Chinese-influenced features that seemed like sorta rubbed in.
It's funny I looked more Asian than anything but not in a squinty way, just like a plastered look when I was younger but oily or something. Not too much like some people.
2TheEllenShow
That just made me think of people who had an Asian mom. I see all these Eurasian people who look so Asian. I think it was a mix of people with Asian moms or dads, but I am not sure. Many look totally Asian and very Asian, more than Asians. Some of them have kind of a box figure with a lot of tight things going on in their body and like really squinty eyes and dead skin, very complex and unpleasurable in a human|white way that you used to think of. I'm not sure how these people are doing today, probably not feeling a lot. Full Asians feel better.
I know most people are interested in Asian stuff, but I feel my mom put a guard on me because she's Chinese Indonesian from maybe 600 years ago. However, I don't really care about Asian stuff... Who would? So, during Katrina, everyone went to Texas and there was this girl there with straight white, probably highlighted or bleached hair. She was reclining on a bench saying with mouth like dropping wide open, "go to the store." Well, it was really surprising and stimulating, but I guess you'd expect it from her. Wait, why did I say that, did I forget to type something?
So, anyway, here's this video of a Japanese dance I was supposed to participate in. There's another video out there somewhere of a girl I heard singing in New Orleans, wait, from Louisiana, in Mississippi, where she got fatter like her parents. She was singing "The Ash Grove," but here she was doing a Japanese solo with some girls. So, you'll notice the girl in the back of the first video with white hair. I was actually thinner than her, but I looked a lot like her. A lot of people were seeming different. It reminds me of Youth Group when we went to pick berries and people were complaining, younger people, and they all seemed mad at me for reveling in it for my reputation. What actually happened was they were irritating the leader and ruining it, but then it seemed they would stop.
link
link
I know most people are interested in Asian stuff, but I feel my mom put a guard on me because she's Chinese Indonesian from maybe 600 years ago. However, I don't really care about Asian stuff... Who would? So, during Katrina, everyone went to Texas and there was this girl there with straight white, probably highlighted or bleached hair. She was reclining on a bench saying with mouth like dropping wide open, "go to the store." Well, it was really surprising and stimulating, but I guess you'd expect it from her. Wait, why did I say that, did I forget to type something?
So, anyway, here's this video of a Japanese dance I was supposed to participate in. There's another video out there somewhere of a girl I heard singing in New Orleans, wait, from Louisiana, in Mississippi, where she got fatter like her parents. She was singing "The Ash Grove," but here she was doing a Japanese solo with some girls. So, you'll notice the girl in the back of the first video with white hair. I was actually thinner than her, but I looked a lot like her. A lot of people were seeming different. It reminds me of Youth Group when we went to pick berries and people were complaining, younger people, and they all seemed mad at me for reveling in it for my reputation. What actually happened was they were irritating the leader and ruining it, but then it seemed they would stop.
link
link
Sweet Dream
So, no, it wasn't about my dad and mom.
Anyway, I was locked in this school that was kinda like a mall. There were all these people there, with me... You get the picture.
Something made my head warble, like go back and forth. So, then, there was this person there who looked kinda big set who was inspired by Ellen DeGeneres just because. So, this "person" really who may have been made up picked up me and for some reason was rubbing my back under my bust. Then sorta my head and my butt, kinda stimulating me like at my crotch or from my butt. I sorta imagined this for awhile.
The dream was rather interesting, otherwise, and rather satisfying, but it was interesting to imagine something of that nature.
So, I was at a school and I was going into class. I don't remember, now! That was before.
I just sprayed my pillow with Febreze.
Anyway, I was locked in this school that was kinda like a mall. There were all these people there, with me... You get the picture.
Something made my head warble, like go back and forth. So, then, there was this person there who looked kinda big set who was inspired by Ellen DeGeneres just because. So, this "person" really who may have been made up picked up me and for some reason was rubbing my back under my bust. Then sorta my head and my butt, kinda stimulating me like at my crotch or from my butt. I sorta imagined this for awhile.
The dream was rather interesting, otherwise, and rather satisfying, but it was interesting to imagine something of that nature.
So, I was at a school and I was going into class. I don't remember, now! That was before.
I just sprayed my pillow with Febreze.
Feeling More Physical Presence
I feel my legs more, like at my crotch and also for some reason my head and face.
STOP
I'm getting suggesting messages and supposed things connected to my dad that are special and these things won't stop and I want it all written down for the world to pick at.
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