Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Problem

I went to bed resolved not to say certain words, but 2 bad words, well 3, came to my mind.  I was resolved one was a joke, but only I can't joke around and that makes me really mad and I won't accept it.  I don't like to curse, neither.  I was really so mad, I couldn't stand it.  I mean, he just has to say something, huh?  It bothered me, though, and it's from watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" and before following Tim Burton, etc.

STOP

I got some messages from my dad I didn't like.

I feel I've lost my connection with him.  I was joking around before about something, but I guess people weren't good enough for it.  I'm not sure why all this is happening.  I explained this is unnecessary.

Dream

I saw a person who put Halloween song out before Halloween.  How, she had something else set up, like for Christmas.  I talked to her with someone I was with.  She had dark, smooth hair and light skin, was a little plump, a little tall.  I was at home, and my mom left.  I was in a bathroom of theirs and there were 2 computers, I think playing classical music that was more exciting with singing.  I was trying to get it to stop.  I did eventually.  I was making out something for someone.  That girl.  A frog bookmark with googly eyes.

In Bed

I guess I'll fight the feeling of my dad.

YOU DIDN'T FIX IT

Look, people, I didn't say nigger or anything in that post.  Oops, you help people who are mean.

2TheEllenShow

So, nice show.  You seem to be doing well.  I'm having a hard time delving into your|the fans..

So, I had a bad day, but I just noticed you were lonely and thought I'd post a reaction to your show, in general.  Hm, why did I have a bad day?  Well, I went to the mental hospital, and suddenly everyone knew I called someone the n word (the word nigger..)  However, I did bad after that happened, as well.  I kept feeling disturbed for failing in college but not on purpose, at least not pointedly.  I thought my life was an experiment and people stopped treating me the same and I felt different.  I was told to expect a great experience.  So, the world was fake.  At least my experience.  More to say, but I'm too tired.  I mean, it was like I couldn't have been happy.

Well, with that, I'll go, go to bed, I will..  :?

I picked a YouTube-

I starred a new video of me singing..  :)

YouTube

Problem

I know that there are violent people from other areas acting like they are from L.A. and Florida.

Problem

Now, I have another problem.  I have lots of problems of people thinking they're smart but mean to me.  Then, things happen in private, the noises I hear and the security words.

Why are we making more problems, for me?  I didn't say hey come talk to me.  Why are people so mean to me?  Why didn't anything work out?

All I know is that I get treated badly for being nice.

Problem

What do you think of how all the good people are closing up to the public because of the n word thing, which was caused by other things?  Just forget it and move onto other people, which is like no one?  Well, what do you think, though, surely it matters?  They come up with something else when something happens.  I'm not gonna take pretend logic.  I really disagree.  See, there's always something.  What was really different, this time?  I left up the dangerous part because I need help.  I keep being treated like I'm someone else.

Problem

Why can't I just be comfortable?  I know I shouldn't be solving problems, now, but I was told to.

Problem

Every time I post something, something else happens.

Going to Bed Soon 3)

Turning Over a New Leaf

I guess I'll just try not to say **** and nigger so freely.  8I

I can't stand the stress I've been put under, the medicine I took, the stay in the mental hospital..

I just don't think it's bad when you're playing online like this in private waiting for people to assist you, why I left it up.  I'm really tired to figure out how to take down stuff when I'm already so winded and incapable of working in the world, even, though I'm quite able-bodied.

I'm wondering why I wasn't accepted as an actor, nor model.  I can try again in a few months and at this one place.  I just have a feeling I'm not ready.  I hope I will continue to improve since I don't even work.  I post online, on Blogger and IMDb.  Other sites.

Well, I decided to change because I found I was programmed to like react violently to suggestions.

I wasn't really going crazy like a baby.  I just keep hearing these noises in my room..

I probably should wait to audition again.  I had some problems with my weight.  Maybe I should fix that.  Like sometimes I skip jogging and get fatter.  Maybe I wasn't healthy.

Well, now, I'm feeling vibrations on my keyboard.

So, I keep having to pay for when I mess up.  So, why don't people help me function better?  I'm not meant to mess up so much.  Hm, what made me mad?  I just got upset at being picked at.  I guess I just should have lay down.  My mom came in to do laundry and I got up to turn on music.  I don't have an MP3 Player.

Ow, the noise just disturbed me, was an insulting message..

So, I hope this never happens again to anyone else.  The message is to live life simply and love and no harm will come.  However, I feel people are doing the opposite, punishing you for things you did wrong.

I know people are telling me to feel that people are really stimulating when they come to conclusions.  I think that bothered me.  I think I was worried at a message that could turn into something, THEN I posted the bad stuff.  You know, earlier I posted Johnny Depp came to me in a vision ideologically that he was spinning my future daughter in pain out of control four hours upon waking.  I have the feeling he still is.  What do you have to say about what this is?  I also got a concrete message.

...

So, lots you can go into.  Maybe, I'll just put this out there, now...

Fixed

Another "complication" I just had to fix my TV.  It's an old TV from my dad|family.

STOP

Look, people've been mean to me since I was withdrawn from college.

STOP

Why are you playing with my thoughts?

STOP

Wow, people won't stop talking back to me.  I'm tired of people thinking hurting me is cool.

STOP

NOW, I CAN'T SEE POSTS TO ELLEN ON TWITTER!  There aren't many at the moment, and mine aren't showing up.  Does this happen all the time?

STOP

Now, #ClassicJokeTuesday hashtags aren't showing up.

#ClassicJokeTuesday

Why did the teen cross the road? To get to the other ride.

Why did the teen spill her orange juice? It was like spilling the beans.

Why did the teen go to the bathroom? For a groom.

Why did the teen go to school? So she wouldn't die like a foo'.

Why wasn't the teen cool? Because she wasn't in the poo'.

Why was the teen's hair in curls? Because she was no angel.

Why was the teen's hair naturally curly? She had sense of rythem.

Why did the teen draw? To see her reflection.

Why did the child live in a sand castle? Because she was already on the beach.

Why did the child hold a hot dog? Because she was too cool.

Where did the teen go to school in junior high? In prism bars.

What was the teen's 1st date? August of 08

What was the teen's secret wish? El-a-tion!

Who was the teen's favorite person? El-le-en!

What did the teen really want to do? Have a fix with her *real* friend.

What was the teen's favorite dream? The un-scene, that is, a foreboding of what wasn't yet to come.

Who did the teen meet? A real loafer.

What did the teen say? Come on over!

How old was the teen? Old enough to count on you.

What did the teen say to Tim? I like him!

...

I guess I got mad today.  I liked doing this, but let's see if I can think of some different jokes, for now.

...

So, a teenager walks into a bar room and sees Ellen and Tim.  What does she do?  She fleas!

So, a teenager goes to school and decides on an elective.  What is it?  Something political.

A tween goes to work for 2 hours a day.  What does she say?  You're all gonna pay!

The tween has a blog.  What does she type?  Directions to her "home" room.

A tween stays at an inn.  What does she eat?  Something that swims.

A tween goes to her hotel room.  What does she do, first|then?  Makes herself at home.

A tween goes to Disney World.  What is her favorite thing?  The ride at Animal Kingdom.

A tween goes to the Magic Kingdom and enters the Tikki Tikki Tikki Tikki Tikki Room.  It's like a parade of light!

A tween goes on a roller coaster.  She shuts her eyes and falls asweep.

A tween walks in the snow in December.  She only wishes she weren't really in a lake...  At least it's not fake.  Oh well, next year, there'll be a remake.  Even a cake.  A piece you can take..

A tween reflects on herself.  She realizes she's only a figment of the imagination.

A tween goes to Paris.  She gets some ice cream.  She slurps it up.

A tween goes swimming.  She reaches for what's to come.

Problem

So, is this your idea of fun?  Let me just disclaim what you saw as me mad at people I don't want to name.  I know it looks bad.  Maybe, I meant it in some fun way...

FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT

Arrange something - payback!

and get all the people who are gonna ruin my life!

Hey

I got another threat to associate a memory.

SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING


HOW WILL I FORGET FIX IT RIGHT NOW - AND I DON'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN.  Well, we should be able to make some arrangements.

STOP

I got another threat.

My posts look like a stab in the heart.  I guess Ellen DeGeneres's minions want me dead.

STOP

I got another threat.

Help, I got mad, and now I have to worry about what others think of my future kids.  I'm not gonna play around.

STOP

I got another weird message.

STOP

STOP!  STOP MULTIPLYING THE NIGGER MESSAGES.

I couldn't log into Facebook the first time and I couldn't use my cell number.

STOP

I'm getting some nigger messages from someone who wants to be stimulated.

HEY STOP GO AWAY SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING

Hey stop, this is from watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  I was trying to settle down!  ':0

STOP

STOP

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING

STOP

STOP

STOP

Problem

The last post said LOOKA

STOP

STOP

NOW MY PICTURE DOESN'T LOOK AS GOOD STOP TALKING TO ME LEAVE ME ALONE LOSER

STOP

I GOT ANOTHER PRIVATE MESSAGE OF PERVERSION SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING IT WAS EXTREME

STOP

NOW IT'S WORKING SOMEBODY STOP THIS PERSON..

STOP

SOMEBODY ****

STOP

THE POLICE FORUMS AREN'T WORKING

HEY MY NOSE

My aunt is a retired police.

My profile worked at first.

STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP

STOP THE PERVERTED MESSAGES

STOP

STOP

YOU RUINED MY LIFE

GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE

Problem

Be quiet.

I said stop.  I GOT ANOTHER MESSAGE.

Problem

Ellen DeGeneres is causing people to get mad at each other.  Come out and face the facts.

*DELETED*

Problem

STOP.  LEAVE ME ALONE.  STOP.

Problem

So, I like watching Ellen DeGeneres, but I got mad and then I heard all these noises in my room and felt like my dad was touching me, and I really don't like that.  Who did it?  Why doesn't anyone care?

Nitey

Hope to wake up to see "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" or maybe just a nap

Stop

Why do you keep bothering me?

I can't get it all down.  I even don't have security that what I do online won't be tampered with.

Look what happens to you from watching Ellen DeGeneres.  You get attacked in private twisting things she preaches or reverberations you get from her messages.  Hey, why did that happen?

Hey, let me be!  I don't have to listen to you because you're wrong.  You can't change my life and program me.

The thoughts I get from being a fan of her are making me vicious and feel violent.  I just felt like I was being too close to my dad.  What's the problem?  I'm not gonna act like someone else is someone else.  I have a different relationship with different people of different ages.  Hey, stop!  If you have a message, post it.  Stop flinging stuff at me like you know what you're talking about.  Hey, why did you say that?  Now what?  This is what I get from living in the world.  Make sure you know that my life is torturous and this could happen to anyone.  Oh, about different ages and types, people who are older tend to be different...  They end up different ways.  I'm not supposed to have to be too close to my dad, PERIOD!!!!

Oh, and don't like sever my relationship with him out of jealousy.

Hey, be quiet, now what?  Hey, stop, what's in the picture, now?  Nothing...  ?  Hey, stop.  I don't care what you think in private.  Stop attacking people you perv.  Your values are not conducive.  Stop making things up.  If you don't really mean it.  I'm still getting these messages through noises in my room and stuff.

Website Update - My Life

Tuesday, 11-27-2012 - I keep getting bothered all day by little clicks and noises and how my computer loads.

Problems

They're still doing it.  LEAVE ME ALONE!

Problems

I keep getting annoyed.  I've been through a lot.  When I get mad, bad things used to happen.

Being Difficult

Helena Bonham Carter leaves clues and wants us to be impressed and won't go out and say what she wants.

Also, I don't believe in when I get upset about something that something else bad has to happen to me because lots of people lose their temper.

I'm upset.  I guess her having Russian Jewish merely puts her in line.  I don't know "what" she did with the traits she supposedly got from her mom...  There are rules.  She just breaks some, it seems, around people like Burton.

nu pix of me

Flickr

nu videos of me singing uploading to YouTube

7, next 1 to start processing in 2 minutes

YouTube

Technology

What do you think about like England compared to the U.S., what they "deserve?"

Problem

Why is everything such a big deal, the way people my age act?  You aren't fixing the problems.  Life is not getting more comfortable.

Problem

I'm getting the signs of messing up my future daughter's life.

Also, I'm being picked on for everything I do without a hint in a warning.

Problem

I keep getting bad things tapped into me via sounds in my room to knock me in one way eventually.

I'm doing more exercise

throughout the night.

Feeling Better

The tea is making my head pump.

Also, I went to the bathroom fine.

test

test

Shopping

I think I need an air purifier.

$10 Mouse
$10 Keyboard
$30 Air Purifier link
up to @ $15 Good Nail Polish
$1 Nail Polish Remover
$1 Nail Scissors
$25 Contact Lenses
$3 Cleaning Spray
$7 Eyeliner
$5 Glitter Eye Shadow link NEW $5.00 @ Wal-Mart
$4 Waterproof Earplugs
$10 female things
$5 teen female chewable vitamins
$5 hair, skin, nails pills
$20 coat hanger
$5 deodorant

Subscriptions
$10 People (like an issue every week, I think)
$6 Flickr
$7 At Some Point Ad-Free for My Forum @ ProBoards
___
$179

Quelling Tea

Ah!

Website Update - Advice

Tuesday, 11-27-2012 - Working out and taking a shower will make you feel better, quell you, and cool you down.  It can take away bad stimulation like altogether.  It deflates you and puffs you up and puts flush in your body, especially your cheeks|face.  It cane make you seem much slimmer or more inflated.  It cleans you and ceases irritation.  I have been not shaving my legs to save time in the winter.  Also, do your nails every day, take the polish off and repolish them.  More expensive polish is better, and it's better to wear interesting colors to match your outfit for the next day.  Also, wear a matching ponytail holder, even when you're in loungewear.

Finished My Shower

Clean.  Did my nails.

Not Feeling Well

I keep feeling like I have to pee.  Not badly, but it's annoying.

Not Feeling Well

My female thing started but stopped.

It must be the pizza.

I'm making grits and bacon.

:*

Edit

I added a tag to my last post, *.

Exercise

Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred

Already, I'm losing my double chin and slimming down.  I just did it for 5-10 minutes.